Who would have known....

Who would have known that my world was still being shaken up when I wrote that last update. Who would have known that my next update is all the more painful...

Last Tuesday my boyfriend moved out and broke up with me. We were just past the year mark and he was done. I still find it hard to believe that this last two months are nothing but a very, very bad dream. Add to the fact that I have been thinking for years about moving away from here. I have done nothing but struggle and struggle. And I have prayed and prayed about it. I feel like us moving and getting a new start on life would be good. For all of us. A place where there is jobs to be had and cost of living is not sky high like California is.

My son does not agree. He disagrees sooo much that he has already found a place he can move to. And my heart breaks. Everyone keeps telling me I'm a strong person. I feel sooooooo weak right now. I cannot eat. I am not a strong as those think I am. I'm very good at faking strong though.

We will not be moving until March. I can make it til then. My daughter is not 100% happy about it but is very understanding. She agrees that its for the best for us all. Right now I feel like she is the only one that loves me.

so sucks is my life now. In just a very short time...life went from being wonderful and roses to heartbreak and death.... All of it too much in too short of a time.

xoxo, T

A long time coming

Not sure just how much I will be writting here tonight. Things have been rough. Out of the norm. And not a lot I'm free to talk about in public. And you really dont get much more public than this.

Anyways, Texas vaca was fantastic. So much fun spending time with my BFF and her kids. I really cannot wait to go back. I'll post pictures and details in another blog. 4th of July was a lot of fun in South Shore Tahoe. Things were going just as I had hoped. Very good.

Then August hit and my world was turned upside down. Aug 10, 2011 at about 9pm I got a phone call that half of me knew would come, but never did I think it would be sooo soon. My brother died. He had chrones, and I did not know. He was really sick and I had never knew. And then the cops showed up at my door and said I was next of Kin. Mindblowing.

And sense then its just been dealing with day by day. its been 1 month, 1 week and 1 day and i dont really believe it is true. So I'm sooo sorry I havent updated. And that this is not my normal updating. Because honestly.... I dont even know how i'm doing what all i am doing. I'm sure i'll post more later... but just running in really quick to say i have not forgotten my blog...just life blew me over and i have still yet to pick up all the pieces.

And while i'm here... those that pray, send up a few for me why i make some tough choices.

xoxo, T

What an awesome Month!!!

June was just an awesome month. VBS went off with out much of any problems. Everyone had a great time and it was a good thing for our church. But I sure worked hard there. After all that was over, I got to pack and head to Texas. That was so much fun!!!! Huston, Katy, Galveston, and San Antonio. I got to spend some much needed time with my BFF and got time away from my family. Something I have never got to do before on that scale.

Texas, the parts I visited, I pretty much fell in love with. Love the manners, the life style (so laid back compared to California), the fact that it is something so different than what we have here. Add to the fact that several very good friends live there!! I will say 5 days was not a long enough time to spend there. And I will be booking a trip back in my near future!

Came back to Cali and then the 4th hit (yes, I know that is July but still). We took the weekend away and went up to South Lake Tahoe for the week away with the family. Our first real kind of vacation with all of us. Amazingly, everyone got along really well... Which leads me to believe that when time comes to have a longer vacation, things will go along swimmingly.

Up next in our lives... Well Austin is off to camp right now, Alexandria gets to go to Great America this Friday for the first time ever! And we are making plans to sometime in the next few months, go camping on the coast for the weekend. That will be an adventure!

So now that you guys know how my summer has gone...How has yours? What fun have you been doing or are planning on doing???

xoxo, T

Almost time....

Its almost time for my first real vacation. See I have been a mom for years and years...sense I was 16yo. I'm now 32 years old. I am going on my first vacation without any kids in just over a week. Its only 5 days, but that 5 days will be amazing. I'm heading to Texas to see my best friend that just moved there not too long ago.

I cannot wait to get out of California to a state were there is warmth!!! Its hard to believe that this is the first weekend of June and its stormy and yucky out. Feels like winter!

Normally on this weekend I'd be at the LAC but this year I just did not have time to try to win any tix. Working 6-7 days a week does that to ya. Plus, my other best friend (the one still local) son's graduation party is today. Hard to think he is a high school graduate and in 3 years my oldest will be doing the same. time sure does go by fast!

Which is why its ALMOST TIME.... must get packed because the next week is action packed with VBS and then next weekend with work. Boo leaves for her camp the day before I fly out. Time will go by fast!

What is your summer plans for this month?

xoxo,T

Summer Vacation 2011

Wow, as of Friday the 27, I now have 2 kids on summer vacation. And I now have a Sophomore in high school and a 6th grader. My how times do go by so fast. Summer time means warm temps...or at least that is how I take it. Right now we have about 70 degrees here in Cali. When normal temps are in the upper 80s to kissing 90's. I would like the normal temps please!

Summer vacation for the kids will be a long one this year in my opinion. Boo is only gone for a couple days with church camp. While Austin will not be leaving at all. I think he should go to Scout camp again this summer and at the rate things are going he will be going if he likes it or NOT. Raising a teenage boy is beyond frustrating.

My part of summer means I will be in Tx soon and spending 5 whole days with my best friend and my two young buddies. I am so looking forward to the time away from work (both jobs) and time away from kids and family. I'm hoping to come back with some new perspective on life here. And where I would like to head the rest of my future. And beyond that I  would like to take a couple of days here and there to go hiking and bike rides. I am praying it does heat up soon here because I should be in the pool swimming by now.

But for now...I get to spend the next few weeks working non-stop. I have VBS at my church I work for and I am so not ready for it. Or that is what I keep telling myself! Its just over a week away. The week following VBS is when I get to go to Tx. Whew... not much time left and I'm super excited to be heading out!!!!

So what is everyone else summer hold for them?

xoxo, T

Ever feel like your failing in the mist of success?

Really! Have you ever felt like you are getting a big fat "F" in the mist of things being very successful? That is how I'm feeling right now. May be that I am just having an "off" day or something. Not sure. But I sure feel that way.

I just saw that a review I had done for BlogHer had been posted. I felt fantastic that something I wrote is out there for others to read. Maybe one person will read that post and say, "Hey, I like how that review on that book spoke to me. I should go read that book." Such a great feeling.

I am working hard at both jobs. Bills are all being paid and we have a bit of extra money for things. I'm leaving for Texas to visit my best friend. Things are GOOD. But yet I feel like I am failing.

Its nothing major, just little things. I maybe taking some of the wording wrong too. But you get an email from you boss about something you forgot to do, but also did not know you were to do it. You get offered a day off, but not sure that you want to take it. Your SO says the choices are yours but I want you to do this. You ask for opinions and people say I dont want to tell you what to do. *SIGH*

Its little, annoying, bugger of things. I guess its just an off day for me, but I am sure feeling like a failure in all of this.

xoxo, T

A month later....a year older!

A month late and I am a year older than the last post.... A year wiser? Probably not. But it is what it is. This last month has been so busy...I hardly had a minute to be at the computer unless it was work related.

But its now May...and its one month closer to my vacation to see my best friend Christy and her kiddos that I miss oh-so-much! I'm so excited to see them...its only been 4 months, so I was reminded today from her. :) and when I see her next it will be 6 months sense I saw them last. And I get to see Texas beyond the airport and flying over it as I had a lot as a kid.

This month will be busy and so will June. I'm running the Vacation Bible School at the church I work for. That takes place the week before I leave on vacation. I'm pulling extra hours here and there for extra money. We are looking at moving soon too. Much larger place is in need. 2 kids and 2 adults in a 2 bedroom condo...ouch, its tight living.

I will keep up with this as much as I can, but please forgive me if I miss out on some days of posting.

xoxo, T