Saturday, March 12, 2011 little time

I wish I had more time to do the things I love to do. I wish I did not have to stress to make sure I work every single day so I can focus more on the good things I have in my life. I hate having to make an appointment JUST so I can do something that makes me happy. And then, have someone say something to stop that from happening.

I hate having to re-learn things too. I have a filter, I swear I do. But sense being on this meds, its gone. Or switched off. And I don't know where the on switch is. I see myself doing things that I dont like me doing, but no control to stop it. Its like the meds have taken away my control over myself and my actions. And I hate that. I regret things I am doing WHEN I am doing them and I try to stop, but I cannot. Very frustrating.

Another side affect, I have NO desire to eat any food at any point in time. When I do force myself to eat, I eat about 1/2 of what is served. And I normally eat 1/2 of what a normal person eats. So you take a meal you would eat, and eat only 1/4th of that and that is what i'm down to. And 2 meals a day. I really try for 3 but its too much food. I have breakfast and dinner.

So, we are at 2 weeks on the meds. Energy is okay. I would not say its way up. It is higher than what it was but not anywhere near normal. The only 2 side affects that are bothering me are the ones listed above. In the big picture, they are really not that bad. But living this, its horrible. But I am also one that put really high expectations upon myself. Sometimes they are totally unachievable because I set the bar so high.  And I have never learned how to lower it so I can be happy with who I am.

Thank you to those reading this and following me on the journey and being so supportive. Most of you I could not do this without.

xoxo, T

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

So tired yet so busy

Yep... you read that title correctly! I'm very tired. Should be in bed. But have been so busy that i have not had time to spend with my honey. So i rented a movie (thank you Redbox!) and we watched it tonight. Well mostly watched it. I was working and watching at the same time. Which is what you get when you are with me! Multi-tasking queen bee.

I got to, Monday night, scrapbook for the first time in a few months! It was so much fun and I have missed it greatly. I'm going to be starting up my own group soon, so if any local people are intrested let me know. Once a month for a few hours... We all need a break like that!

Well short and sweet again!

xoxo, T

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Its been a week!

And thinks are okay here! Working and have energy. Multi-tasking like normal, and still getting sleep! Woohooo....

Monday night I get to go scrapbooking for a few hours. It will be nice to get out of the house and be able to do that. :)

Short and sweet right now.

xoxo, T

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Day 5

Well today sure has been a great day. More energy, more like the old me. Yes we are only on day 5 but so far... day 5 i'll keep! I miss being me. Full of energy and happy and not having to fake it. I'm now looking forward to each day as they come and with the hope that they are all like these.