Sunday, November 20, 2011

Sea Change

I just finished reading this book called "Sea Change" by Jeremy Page. It was an interesting book upon first opening it. Jeremy caught my attention within the first chapter, however it was lost about chapter 3. You meet the main character, Guy from page one. The view point is his along the whole story, or should I say stories? Where the author Jeremy lost me. I felt about half way thru the book that I was terribly lost and reading multiple stories. Towards the end of the book, I started to get a clue that one part of the book was actually a story written by Guy, as he is trying to pave a new way in his life. 

This story is about love, its about loss of those who you love dearly. And in the end…it about love that you have found again, when you think all love is gone. Its about hopelessness and hope. Life that can be lost and yet found. This is not a easy read, or a quick one by any means. I normally pick up a story and don’t put it down. This was one of the ones that could hit quite close to home, and could take a while to read. Jeremy is a good writer, and you can follow along quite well. I just wish it was a little bit easier to read or at least more clear as to the direction he was going in. I do recommend this book, with caution, if you have lost some one dear to you recently, wait a bit before picking up this book to read.

This was a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own.

xoxo, T

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Gonna be the best weekend EVER!

There is too many changes to count on!!! So lets not go into them at the moment shall we?

I am too excited. This FRIDAY I leave for San Diego!!! I haven't been there before and I'm going as a work thing, but I dont care! Its gonna be a bunch of fun. I get to hang out with a long time friend, Linda, on Friday afternoon/evening. She is sooo sweet for letting me crash at her home Friday night! Thanks Greenie!!!! Then Saturday I head the rest of the way to SD and go to CTMH Leadershare! WOOT! Spend the whole day learning how to better market CTMH and all that fun stuff.

Once that is over, I'm making the long drive back up north to home (its only like 8-9 hour drive!)! Because on Sunday I get to spend the day in SF with friends... Ahhh beach anyone? Pier anyone? So totally excited! And the fact that I wont have the kids and spending the day with friends... Life is GOOD!

After 2 very, very, very long stressful months, I think I'm due for some fun and sun and friends. This weekend could not have come at a better time than now. I can relax, enjoy life and go places. Some of my most fave. things I will be doing this weekend.

What are you weekend plans?

xoxo, T

Sunday, September 25, 2011

When life choices are not well met

There are times in life you have to stand up and make a choice. A lot of the time, people do not understand that choice you have made. Those that are closest to you should understand, yet sometimes they are not as close as you think.

I have made a choice that we are going to be moving. Its not an easy decision. It is a long time coming one, however. I have looked at everything from every angle. I LOVE California. But its expensive to live here and it is all I have ever known. There is a lot of good memories and a lot of bad. More and more as the years have gone by...the more bad there has been and less good. I think by moving it would give us the fresh start needed to build lives that are healthy. Without struggling just for the basics and live happy.

There is a lot of good about living in California. I have weight out everything. I made my pro's/con's list. I have looked into the cost of moving, renting there, buying there, jobs that are there... And everything. The Con list of us staying is waaaaayyyyy longer than the pro.

Its not like I'm making the choice to move and that we are moving tomorrow. Its more like 6 or so months from now. I would love for us to be able to stay until June 1 so the kids can finish this school year here. And they can start fresh with a new school year. Austin does not want to go. That is a convo to be had later. Because I dont know where I am standing on it for him.

I'm doing well enough taking it one day at a time... one moment at a time. I just wish more would understand and support this.

oxox, T

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Who would have known....

Who would have known that my world was still being shaken up when I wrote that last update. Who would have known that my next update is all the more painful...

Last Tuesday my boyfriend moved out and broke up with me. We were just past the year mark and he was done. I still find it hard to believe that this last two months are nothing but a very, very bad dream. Add to the fact that I have been thinking for years about moving away from here. I have done nothing but struggle and struggle. And I have prayed and prayed about it. I feel like us moving and getting a new start on life would be good. For all of us. A place where there is jobs to be had and cost of living is not sky high like California is.

My son does not agree. He disagrees sooo much that he has already found a place he can move to. And my heart breaks. Everyone keeps telling me I'm a strong person. I feel sooooooo weak right now. I cannot eat. I am not a strong as those think I am. I'm very good at faking strong though.

We will not be moving until March. I can make it til then. My daughter is not 100% happy about it but is very understanding. She agrees that its for the best for us all. Right now I feel like she is the only one that loves me.

so sucks is my life now. In just a very short went from being wonderful and roses to heartbreak and death.... All of it too much in too short of a time.

xoxo, T

Sunday, September 18, 2011

A long time coming

Not sure just how much I will be writting here tonight. Things have been rough. Out of the norm. And not a lot I'm free to talk about in public. And you really dont get much more public than this.

Anyways, Texas vaca was fantastic. So much fun spending time with my BFF and her kids. I really cannot wait to go back. I'll post pictures and details in another blog. 4th of July was a lot of fun in South Shore Tahoe. Things were going just as I had hoped. Very good.

Then August hit and my world was turned upside down. Aug 10, 2011 at about 9pm I got a phone call that half of me knew would come, but never did I think it would be sooo soon. My brother died. He had chrones, and I did not know. He was really sick and I had never knew. And then the cops showed up at my door and said I was next of Kin. Mindblowing.

And sense then its just been dealing with day by day. its been 1 month, 1 week and 1 day and i dont really believe it is true. So I'm sooo sorry I havent updated. And that this is not my normal updating. Because honestly.... I dont even know how i'm doing what all i am doing. I'm sure i'll post more later... but just running in really quick to say i have not forgotten my blog...just life blew me over and i have still yet to pick up all the pieces.

And while i'm here... those that pray, send up a few for me why i make some tough choices.

xoxo, T

Sunday, July 10, 2011

What an awesome Month!!!

June was just an awesome month. VBS went off with out much of any problems. Everyone had a great time and it was a good thing for our church. But I sure worked hard there. After all that was over, I got to pack and head to Texas. That was so much fun!!!! Huston, Katy, Galveston, and San Antonio. I got to spend some much needed time with my BFF and got time away from my family. Something I have never got to do before on that scale.

Texas, the parts I visited, I pretty much fell in love with. Love the manners, the life style (so laid back compared to California), the fact that it is something so different than what we have here. Add to the fact that several very good friends live there!! I will say 5 days was not a long enough time to spend there. And I will be booking a trip back in my near future!

Came back to Cali and then the 4th hit (yes, I know that is July but still). We took the weekend away and went up to South Lake Tahoe for the week away with the family. Our first real kind of vacation with all of us. Amazingly, everyone got along really well... Which leads me to believe that when time comes to have a longer vacation, things will go along swimmingly.

Up next in our lives... Well Austin is off to camp right now, Alexandria gets to go to Great America this Friday for the first time ever! And we are making plans to sometime in the next few months, go camping on the coast for the weekend. That will be an adventure!

So now that you guys know how my summer has gone...How has yours? What fun have you been doing or are planning on doing???

xoxo, T

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Almost time....

Its almost time for my first real vacation. See I have been a mom for years and years...sense I was 16yo. I'm now 32 years old. I am going on my first vacation without any kids in just over a week. Its only 5 days, but that 5 days will be amazing. I'm heading to Texas to see my best friend that just moved there not too long ago.

I cannot wait to get out of California to a state were there is warmth!!! Its hard to believe that this is the first weekend of June and its stormy and yucky out. Feels like winter!

Normally on this weekend I'd be at the LAC but this year I just did not have time to try to win any tix. Working 6-7 days a week does that to ya. Plus, my other best friend (the one still local) son's graduation party is today. Hard to think he is a high school graduate and in 3 years my oldest will be doing the same. time sure does go by fast!

Which is why its ALMOST TIME.... must get packed because the next week is action packed with VBS and then next weekend with work. Boo leaves for her camp the day before I fly out. Time will go by fast!

What is your summer plans for this month?


Saturday, May 28, 2011

Summer Vacation 2011

Wow, as of Friday the 27, I now have 2 kids on summer vacation. And I now have a Sophomore in high school and a 6th grader. My how times do go by so fast. Summer time means warm temps...or at least that is how I take it. Right now we have about 70 degrees here in Cali. When normal temps are in the upper 80s to kissing 90's. I would like the normal temps please!

Summer vacation for the kids will be a long one this year in my opinion. Boo is only gone for a couple days with church camp. While Austin will not be leaving at all. I think he should go to Scout camp again this summer and at the rate things are going he will be going if he likes it or NOT. Raising a teenage boy is beyond frustrating.

My part of summer means I will be in Tx soon and spending 5 whole days with my best friend and my two young buddies. I am so looking forward to the time away from work (both jobs) and time away from kids and family. I'm hoping to come back with some new perspective on life here. And where I would like to head the rest of my future. And beyond that I  would like to take a couple of days here and there to go hiking and bike rides. I am praying it does heat up soon here because I should be in the pool swimming by now.

But for now...I get to spend the next few weeks working non-stop. I have VBS at my church I work for and I am so not ready for it. Or that is what I keep telling myself! Its just over a week away. The week following VBS is when I get to go to Tx. Whew... not much time left and I'm super excited to be heading out!!!!

So what is everyone else summer hold for them?

xoxo, T

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Ever feel like your failing in the mist of success?

Really! Have you ever felt like you are getting a big fat "F" in the mist of things being very successful? That is how I'm feeling right now. May be that I am just having an "off" day or something. Not sure. But I sure feel that way.

I just saw that a review I had done for BlogHer had been posted. I felt fantastic that something I wrote is out there for others to read. Maybe one person will read that post and say, "Hey, I like how that review on that book spoke to me. I should go read that book." Such a great feeling.

I am working hard at both jobs. Bills are all being paid and we have a bit of extra money for things. I'm leaving for Texas to visit my best friend. Things are GOOD. But yet I feel like I am failing.

Its nothing major, just little things. I maybe taking some of the wording wrong too. But you get an email from you boss about something you forgot to do, but also did not know you were to do it. You get offered a day off, but not sure that you want to take it. Your SO says the choices are yours but I want you to do this. You ask for opinions and people say I dont want to tell you what to do. *SIGH*

Its little, annoying, bugger of things. I guess its just an off day for me, but I am sure feeling like a failure in all of this.

xoxo, T

Monday, May 2, 2011

A month later....a year older!

A month late and I am a year older than the last post.... A year wiser? Probably not. But it is what it is. This last month has been so busy...I hardly had a minute to be at the computer unless it was work related.

But its now May...and its one month closer to my vacation to see my best friend Christy and her kiddos that I miss oh-so-much! I'm so excited to see them...its only been 4 months, so I was reminded today from her. :) and when I see her next it will be 6 months sense I saw them last. And I get to see Texas beyond the airport and flying over it as I had a lot as a kid.

This month will be busy and so will June. I'm running the Vacation Bible School at the church I work for. That takes place the week before I leave on vacation. I'm pulling extra hours here and there for extra money. We are looking at moving soon too. Much larger place is in need. 2 kids and 2 adults in a 2 bedroom condo...ouch, its tight living.

I will keep up with this as much as I can, but please forgive me if I miss out on some days of posting.

xoxo, T

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Been bad about posting...again

Okay really, I think I should set a reminder to POST here at least once a week. Life is just so busy when you juggle so much.

It is now April... in 27 days I'll be turning another year older. 2 days ago, my daughter turned 11. Hard to imagine that, that much time has gone buy already. Come the end of the year my son will be 16 years old. Wow! I don't feel old enough, don't look old enough, to have a almost 16yo and an 11yo.

Oh and speaking of feeling, I'm doing so much better than I was a month ago, or even at the first of the year. Things are going good. I'm working a lot, working out more now that the weather is turning nicer. Cant be happier!

I don't have too much to write about today. I'm at work right now, and we have friends coming over when I get home. So nice to have company!!!

Hope everyone is well!

xoxo, T

Saturday, March 12, 2011 little time

I wish I had more time to do the things I love to do. I wish I did not have to stress to make sure I work every single day so I can focus more on the good things I have in my life. I hate having to make an appointment JUST so I can do something that makes me happy. And then, have someone say something to stop that from happening.

I hate having to re-learn things too. I have a filter, I swear I do. But sense being on this meds, its gone. Or switched off. And I don't know where the on switch is. I see myself doing things that I dont like me doing, but no control to stop it. Its like the meds have taken away my control over myself and my actions. And I hate that. I regret things I am doing WHEN I am doing them and I try to stop, but I cannot. Very frustrating.

Another side affect, I have NO desire to eat any food at any point in time. When I do force myself to eat, I eat about 1/2 of what is served. And I normally eat 1/2 of what a normal person eats. So you take a meal you would eat, and eat only 1/4th of that and that is what i'm down to. And 2 meals a day. I really try for 3 but its too much food. I have breakfast and dinner.

So, we are at 2 weeks on the meds. Energy is okay. I would not say its way up. It is higher than what it was but not anywhere near normal. The only 2 side affects that are bothering me are the ones listed above. In the big picture, they are really not that bad. But living this, its horrible. But I am also one that put really high expectations upon myself. Sometimes they are totally unachievable because I set the bar so high.  And I have never learned how to lower it so I can be happy with who I am.

Thank you to those reading this and following me on the journey and being so supportive. Most of you I could not do this without.

xoxo, T

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

So tired yet so busy

Yep... you read that title correctly! I'm very tired. Should be in bed. But have been so busy that i have not had time to spend with my honey. So i rented a movie (thank you Redbox!) and we watched it tonight. Well mostly watched it. I was working and watching at the same time. Which is what you get when you are with me! Multi-tasking queen bee.

I got to, Monday night, scrapbook for the first time in a few months! It was so much fun and I have missed it greatly. I'm going to be starting up my own group soon, so if any local people are intrested let me know. Once a month for a few hours... We all need a break like that!

Well short and sweet again!

xoxo, T

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Its been a week!

And thinks are okay here! Working and have energy. Multi-tasking like normal, and still getting sleep! Woohooo....

Monday night I get to go scrapbooking for a few hours. It will be nice to get out of the house and be able to do that. :)

Short and sweet right now.

xoxo, T

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Day 5

Well today sure has been a great day. More energy, more like the old me. Yes we are only on day 5 but so far... day 5 i'll keep! I miss being me. Full of energy and happy and not having to fake it. I'm now looking forward to each day as they come and with the hope that they are all like these.

Monday, February 28, 2011

Help Needed...

Well I have been really absent of late. That is because I was dealing with a lot of "health" issues. In less than a 2 month period of time I managed to put on 20lbs. No clue as to how. No increased eating or anything. And with that came decreased in energy and a drastic INCREASE in the need to sleep! Which is totally not me.

So I did what all normal people would do. I called the doctor. Made the appointment and went. The doctor had no idea as to why and requested blood work done. Did all of that and went back a week later. Still no real answers so she sent me to a blood dr to read the test. Two weeks later and he said he saw nothing! BACK to the doctor I went.

So she tells me the only thing that she can do is put me on an antidepressant (nope, not depressed) to help increase my energy and decrease the weight. Been on that for 4 days now. How much of a change... well the first 3 days it took all I could do to stay awake! I was asleep with in minutes of taking the pill and was out cold for hours. 4... was a lot groggy for the first 11/2 hours but got better. The afternoon I was feeling a lot more like myself. Energy, happy, and most of all not sleepy!

So hopefully that will do it. It will keep going in this direction we are hoping it to go in and I can be back to normal quickly. We shall see. What I think went wrong with me? I think my body has had enough of the stress that I have had being a single mom and trying to be wonder woman! My body is telling me to stop, take a break and re-coop.

xoxo, T

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

eeekkkk... a week late...better late than never

Right? Well this last few weeks has been a bit crazy. So here is a quick catch up.
My cake decoration class is over. January is done with and in the books. Working like crazy and just trying to keep up with everything! And now onto the pictures!
3rd cake decorating class, cupcakes

Just playing with cupcakes....these ones are chocolate fudge with strawberry filling 

Peanut butter cups cupcakes! Yum!

Stunning sunset on my way home from work. had to get this shot!

Final cake for the cake decorating class. Looked so much better in person 

the failure for the week. its at a local shopping center. been that way for months.

That is it for now....

xoxo, T

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Two Weeks into 2011 and its been good

Another week is done and gone. It's going by pretty quickly, and for that I am surprised and yet not. Every day is another day, filled with a long list of things to do and never enough time to get any of it done. And with so much that is being done, hard to take a daily picture that shows what has happened. So I guess its a mix of both. I do the best I can.

Monday was spent working and then went window shopping. I want the Nikon!

Tuesday was spend with work and with baking prep. After making the above cake for my class, I had to rush off to a Boy Scout meeting. Daily Tuesday life!
The final product on Wednesday! Bugs Bunny cake I decorated.

Thursday afternoon, I found these cupcake displays for $5 each! Such a bargain shopper I am. :)
Friday was spent a time of pampering for me! Nails done!

Saturday was a wonderful end to a good day. Fire place, movie and cuddling with my honey.

I spend most of the time working each week between 2 jobs. It's a busy life but fun. So I try to put up and tell about how each day has something different!

xoxo, T

Sunday, January 9, 2011

A week has gone by

Just over a week has gone by of the new year! How has it been for you? Mine's been pretty good. Monday-Thurs was spent working at my weekday job (church job). Lots of fun and I love it there. I get to run the VBS (Vacation Bible School) there which will be a ton of fun for me and everyone involved.
Working on VBS for 2011
 I started taking a cake decorating class on Wednesday nights and the first night was this past Wed. It was a lot of fun and the cookies (below) did not last the night in my house with the kids! Managed to surprise everyone with my "skill" and they thought someone else did these!
Cake Decorating Classes... Cookies first. Day 5
Thursday (day 6) was pretty uneventful. Just spent the day working long hours at the church and then came home to dinner and a new Grey's. Somethings never change and one would be my love for Grey's Anatomy!
New Grey's Anatomy, somethings  never change! Day 6
Friday (day 7) is my only day off during the week. Between both jobs I work 6 days a week. Dont get me wrong, i love it. So I use my Fridays to catch up on everything I may have missed out that week and start gearing up for the week ahead. This Friday I thought to try my hand at making a cake. See this coming up Wed in my class we have to bring a 2 layered filled and frosted cake to decorate. And we must do it ourselves! So the strawberry cake (below) was my trial run. I found out that a 10 inch cake is HARD to cut in half. Monday I'm going to buy 2 8inch pans! But it still tasted GOOD!
Strawberry cake anyone? Day 7
Day 8 was spent working at the winery, Vicarmont. Then right after work, I went grocery shopping (several hours long shopping trip) and then stopped to pick up some take-n-bake pizza for dinner. It was quite yummy if you look at what little is left here on Austin's plate!
yum! Pizza for dinner after a hard day of working and shopping! Day 8
 Day 9, which is today! I'm sitting here at work waiting on more people to come in and taste the wine. The wine tasting is free and its yummy wine. Plus you get my sunny self to talk to. :) That is a bottle and a taste of our Gold metal winning Merlot!

Weekend job working at the Winery. Come on in for a glass or bottle! :) Day 9

 So that has been my week so far! How has yours been? Stay tuned to this week. I'll post picture of my Cake i end up making!

xoxo, T

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Jan 1, 2011....365

So I saw a lot of friends in the past years doing a 365. Which is a year in photos of what was done. I thought that with how quickly 2010 went by..... I'll do it for 2011. So here is two pictures of my 2011 day one.
Nick and I ringing in the  New Year!

Sleeping and playing the wii!
So we spent the new year at my best friends house, playing games. Then came home and slept all morning to wake up and play the wii all after noon. Fun  day and no work. wooohoo... One more day of "vacation" for me and then back to the old grind with work all the time. :) Can't complain because so far 2011 has been much better than 2010!

xoxo, T