What are your stressor's?

I'm continplating this for me. What are my stressor's? What triggers the stressed out reactions I have? I use to know, I could name off dozens of them. Now that I have eliminated those, there is still some left. But what are they?

Right now, it is the start of my camp, that I co-run with friends of mine. Its our last year. I always stress out over it. This year seams more so than before, but I think its been that way each year. Its the "in the moment" stress. Its also that each year there is something different to stress over. And I don't know quite how to react to them.

Also, I hate to ask for help. Asking for anytype of help is a stressor for me. That is one that has never left me. To me, asking/needing help is a sign of weakness. I have yet to point a finger when I started to think like that. I have tried to change that thought, but have failed so far.

And why is it that when I'm stressing, I will push people away? Yep I do that. I know I do that. Part of me has no idea why, another part thinks that if I push hard enough I will know who are those that are people that are true to me. If they stay and deal with it, then they are those that need to stay. If they are the ones that walk away... then why do I need them around when things are all roses, if they can be here when its dark and scary?

Hmm... a few others, kids not behaving, lack of income, which leads into knowing there is things I need but cannot get and refuse to ask for. Because, tying into above, its a sign of weakness for me.

What calms you down? What do you do when you are highly stressed out? I really dont have too much. Sometimes, music, writting, talking help. Sometimes reading. Right now, none of its helping. I'm losing sleep over it, i'm not hungry, i dont want to eat, but i'm forcing myself to do so, that way nobody gets mad at me for not eating. I can only force so much to do. I'm so tired of it though. There are times, like right now, I wonder is it worth all of this? Why keep doing it? What is the point? :sigh: I dont have the answers.

xoxo, T