My mind can be a very evil thing some days. On days like today where it has the run's of "What if's" run thru it. Or on days where you have a long talk with an old friend and this friend asks you for advice. Which is why I have the "what if's" going on.
See this friend of mine has been dating here and there...not really steady with anyone. She has her "list" of who she knows is Mr. Right. She has dated her fair share of Mr. Wrong's and I agree that she has a great idea of who her Mr. Right is. But now a monkey has been thrown into the works. One of the few guys she has been dating, we will call him Mr. J, could totally fall under as another Mr. Wrong. He really does not fit onto any of her Mr. Right's must have. But she is enjoying her time with him. And the more she gets to know him, the more she is liking him. The things that would make Mr. J, a Mr. Wrong are not bad things, and not a deal breaker by any means. But he does not fill the Mr. Right terms. So her question to me was.... "Do I give up my list of Mr. Rights must have and go for it with this guy? Or is he just Mr. Right now?"
Wow, what a hard question to answer. Looking back on my many years of dating many different men, I can see why she asked me. Specially sense she knows that I went thur this same thing. The only thing that she did not know was that I went with my "list" and not with my heart. And was forever plagued with the "what if's" of what could have happened. So my advice to her? Date him a while longer... see what happens. If she is really and truely happy then fine, go ahead and go solo with just him. But make sure its right. List are there for a starting point, and sometimes they need to be thrown out.
Me, on the other hand, live on my list. Its so easy to tell others what they should do, but not follow it yourself. But then again, I have to be dating someone. Of which I am not. I'd like to think if I was ever in the situation again, that I would know to throw out the list, rather than give up the guy. But we'll see how much I have grown, if that was to ever happen again.
xoxo, T
3 comments:
It's hard to say. Even if you throw out the "list," when things are rocky later (and they almost always are, even if just for a spell), you can what if yourself about whether you were too impulsive.
Worrying about what might have been seems part of what we do.
Very true Dana. I guess its up to each person to decide if the list should be stuck with or be thrown out. And it also depends on how important what you have on that list.
Thank you for the comment!
Well, i also agree with theresa becoz it depends on how important what you have on that list.
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