background

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Getting older... oh the joys!

Or so I have been told. There are "joys" to getting older. I'm thinking not! hmmm... Let see, in less than 2 weeks I'll be a year older. My lovely daugher tells me this morning while we are talking, "Mom, your gonna be old soon". I tell her to be quiet. But that statement got me thinking. I was told recently that the 50's are the new 40's... the 40's are the new 30's and the 30's are  the new 20's...  I'm going to be 31 at the end of the month. So the new 20's right? I should be okay with that. I know this. I think I am.

With the statement coming from my now 10 year old, it sounded weird. It sounded like I am turning 100 years old intead of 31. But like I said, after she said that it got me thinking...how much I have changed in the last 10 years.

10 years ago, I was divorce/engaged to be married. I just had my last child (aforemention daughter). I thought I had so much time to do so many things. Little did I know, just over a year later I would be divorced. I would land a job I would love and work with a great group of guys who turned out to be very good friends. I would fall in love again, only to have my heart shattered by his sudden and unexpected death. To have my family fall out of my life (my choice). To be truely on my own, with only me to count on.

Who would have know that going thru all of that and more has made me a whole lot reserved. I keep more to myself (even though others may not think that). I can count on one hand who are my dearest friends, ones I would trust with my life or the life of my kids. They are more my family to me than my blood family ever was or ever will be. I have grown up. I'd like to think I'm smarter and wiser. Time will tell on that.

Just rambling of my thoughts I got after my daughter said that. The only birthday that was truly sad for me was my 26th. I knew my time was up on a few things. And its okay. Now I'll be 31 and I'm okay with that and with how my life is going. Things will keep getting better and better. I will not be doing a thing for my birthday this year. I tried that last year...and nobody showed up. So I am over and done with the party thing anyways.

xoxo, T

No comments: